" I said. We had plans the following day and the date was a normal first date. We asked about each other's past, present, and future lives. I didn't hear from him after that so I assumed he was not as interested in me as I was with him. I looked forward to Monday so I could ask him why he hadn't called. He wasn't driving the bus so I began to question was he trying to avoid me. The day after he still wasn't driving the bus but the driver handed me a note. I was curious and as I read it the note was from Jon and it told me to meet him at the bus station later that night. While getting ready I didn't know how I should be dressed so I went casual but put on my sexy lingerie just to make myself feel sexy. I arrived at the bus station and nobody was there so I believed he had stood me up. As I was walking away I heard a honk, I walked to the bus it came from and the door opened and there Jon was looking sexier than I had ever seen him. He explained to me that he had been avoiding me but. “I’m not ready.”“Ready for what? I’m not doing anything.”“You know exactly what you’re doing. You’re trying to seduce me.”“Is it a crime? Seducing your own wife?”“I’m not ready. I’m just not ready. I know we’ve had our troubles, and now these troubles seem to be over, but I’m not ready. It doesn’t feel right.”“When will it feel right?” demanded Queresh.She lay in silence. Sex, after the miscarriage and loathsome depression did not appeal to her. She had escaped just barely from the torment of a personal hell, a mental journey where one travels alone, without any defense. When she emerged from that living and breathing nightmare, she freed herself of complications, even the complications of pleasure. She had been so alone in that journey. She had trouble associating with other people, even her own husband. At one point she slept for nearly fifteen hours a day. How blissful sleep becomes, not only for purposes of rest, but for purposes of avoidance. Maryam never spoke of her journey to.
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